He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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