I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
