the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
