Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
