I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
