need another drink. this is the easiest way
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
