This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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