Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
