my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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