the condom got lost in my hair
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
