his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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