i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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