You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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