he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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