Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
