oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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