I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize