just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
