OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
