this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
