just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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