You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
