I need help removing her.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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