and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize