I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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