Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
