The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You ate ashes out of my bong
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
