He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
