I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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