Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
