I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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