dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
