i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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