I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
