That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
