i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
