chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
