Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
