I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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