Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
