I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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