Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
