I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
