can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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