still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
