Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
