K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
