i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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