Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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