you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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