i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
