I feel like I'm in dance class right now
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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