I accidentally burped into my bong.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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