I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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