I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
