well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
