Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
