That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
