Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
