Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
