Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
