My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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