a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
